Kione stood before the refrigerator, staring at the calendar. It was the twenty-forth of October and on November sixteenth she was to go in for an operation. One that would either save her life or do nothing. She counted the days over and over with mixed feeling. Afraid the number of days wasn’t soon enough, afraid the number of days wasn’t long enough. Every few were marked with little notes, representing the ones she would go in for chemotherapy or something else hospital related. Her first treatment was the twenty-seventh, only two days away, and already her nerves were on end.
“Kino?” came a voice from behind. The little girl let go of the calendar pages and spun around, spotting her brother at the kitchen entrance. “What ‘cha doing?”
“Nothing.” she answered. Goten walked into the room, already knowing she had been looking at the calendar again. He hated those pages of paper, the names of the days, the number dates, even the names of the months. If he could, he’d tear the thing apart. Something about knowing they were gone seemed to make him think he would feel somewhat better. Unfortunately, shredding those pages wasn’t going to make the days disappear. The sun would continue to set in the evening and rise in the morning. There was no putting a halt to that.
“Stop looking at that thing, it only makes you feel worse.”
“I can’t help it.”
“It doesn’t run your life.”
“Well, it does now.”
“It doesn’t have to.”
“What do you mean it doesn’t have to? Look at it Goten,” she said, turning around to read it. “October twenty-seventh, ‘first chemo session’, October thirtieth, ‘second chemo session’, November third, ‘check up at hospital’, November sixth ‘third chemo session.’ I have more ‘chemo session’ days than I do school days, not to mention I’ll have to stay home the day after these sessions because I can’t imagine how sick they’re going to make me. Oh and what about all the days marked with ‘medicine refill’?”
“Yeah, and what does the sixteenth say?”
“Operation.”
“That’s right. Operation. And after that day things will be normal. No more sessions, no more medicine refills, and no more hospital trips. These next few weeks are going to be tough and I know they’ll be a lot harder for you than anyone else, but you can’t sit here and let the calendar spell our your life. You run your life, you always have. I don’t ever remember you letting anyone or anything stop you, so why let the stupid calendar?” Goten responded.
“Because....” Kione began to answer, but sighed angrily, “I don’t know.”
“Don’t give up, not yet, it’s too soon. You’ve just begun to fight. Besides, you never give up during our practices, just pretend it’s me you have to beat. That usually pumps you up.” her brother said, trying to cheer her. “I’m always going to be there for support, you’ll never have to do this alone, I promise. So when I say live your life the way you want, I mean it. Don’t think about the way the calendar has it written out.” Kione smiled and picked her head up from the floors direction. Goten always seemed to know how to change her mood. She was lucky, luckier than anyone in the whole world, to have him for a brother. He could have been anyone’s, anyone at all. But by some miracle, he wasn’t, he was hers and most importantly, she had the privilege of being his. Life had always been that way. Life would always be that way.
A phone call broke the silence that had settled over the kitchen and Goten answered.
“Hello? Yeah, she’s right here. For you.” he said, handing her the phone.
“Hello? Hayama! Hey, what’s up? No, I’m ok....sorta. Well, I had to go to the doctors. ......I’m sick. Um, no, it’s...just a cold, I’ll back in school tomorrow.” Goten raised an eyebrow at his sister and cleared his throat loudly. Kione glanced at him and returned her attention to the phone. “Uh, Hayama, actually, it’s not a cold. Um, I need to tell you something, could you meet me at the park in a few? No, I’ll be there soon......my dad drives really fast. Ok, I’ll see ya. Bye.”
“The park?”
“I couldn’t tell him over the phone.”
“All right, see ya later. I’ll tell mom you’re out....taking a walk or something.”
“Thanks. I’ll be back in a little while.” Kione said and rushed out to the front door.
“Yeah, bye.” Goten said as he heard the door slam. Kione was airborne the minute she was outside. Naturally, Hayama beat her to the park but that didn’t really concern her. She peered down at him from above and watched him wait impatiently for a minute. He stood by an enormous oak tree tapping his foot, folding and unfolding his arms, and looking around in every direction. She dropped to the ground a few feet away and ran over.
“Hayama!” she called out as he spun around. Instantly, his face brightened.
“Wow, you got here fast.”
“Yeah....”
“You’ve got me all worried now, what’s wrong? Why did you want to meet me here so soon?”
“Well, like I said before, I don’t have a cold.”
“I wouldn’t think so, you don’t look sick. Maybe a little pale but....” Hayama cut off, tilting his head to the side slightly, looking his friend over. “Are you ok?”
“Yes.”
“You sure?”
“....No.”
“No?”
“Not really....”
“What?”
“I don’t know.” Kione said and sighed.
“Hey, it’s ok, whatever it is, you can tell me.”
“Yeah but, I’m not sure how to say it.”
“Afraid I’ll get mad?”
“I don’t know.”
“I promise I won’t, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I’m not worried about that. I don’t think.”
“Then what is it? Behind on home work and you need to copy?” he asked with a smile. Kione let a small one decorate her face but let it fade and shook her head.
“No.”
“Don‘t tell me, you‘re dying and need help with the will?” Hayama said kiddingly, trying to get Kione back to her regular loose self. The second attempt failed and she stood silently with a saddened face. Hayama grew concerned at her unusual responses and furrowed his brow in confusion. Kione’s normal reaction to a joke like that would have been to throw her hand upon her forehead and gasp dramatically, saying yes it was true, she had some made up, forty-lettered disease and would then curse the world for its cruel ways and finally end in laughing and giggling. But she didn’t throw her hand upon her forehead and she didn’t gasp dramatically. There was no made up disease and there was no cursing the world. No giggling, no laughing, not even a smile. A terrible feeling took control of the boy and a knot formed in his stomach, almost making him dizzy.
“I was only kidding Kino.....”
“I know.” she answered, barely audible.
“I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m sorry.” he replied, “Something’s wrong....I know it. Kino....you’ve got me really scared right now....”
“Ya know how I haven’t been to school in a few days? Here, wait, I think we need to sit.” she said, pulling her friend down.
“Yeah....”
“Well, I’ve been at the hospital.” Hayama‘s blue eyes widened slightly at her response.
“Why?”
“Because they found something in a blood test and needed to check to see if I was ok.”
“Are you? Ok?” Hayama asked hesitantly. Kione shook her head.
“They said,” she paused, making a face, and took a deep breath, “the said I have Leukemia, Hayama.” she answered, blinking away forming tears. Hayama’s eyes had grown wider and the same saddened look took over his face. The news was shocking, overwhelming, unbearable, everything at once and not knowing what else to do, he looked away and stared at the ground is disbelief, resting an elbow on his leg, and covered his mouth with his hand.
“Leukemia. Cancer. My God.......cancer....” he thought to himself.
“We found out a few days ago and the doctors said that it’s not....too good,” Kione continued uncomfortably. “Um, they said I’ve had it for a long time but no one ever knew because its symptoms are just like getting a cold. I have medicine though.....it helps....” she stopped and frowned as she tried to catch eye contact with her friend. “Hayama?”
His only response was a soft sniffle. His voice had deserted him and as much as he wanted to look at Kione, it was too painful of an act to do. Kione leaned forward, almost throwing herself at the boy in front of her, and hugged him for all she was worth. Hayama quickly wrapped his arms around her and was doing everything possible to fight back tears.
“If you start, I’m gonna start, and then they’ll be nothing but waterfalls.” Kione said, causing Hayama to laugh. She smiled and half a laugh, half a sob was muffled into her friends shirt. Hayama leaned against the trunk of the tree behind them and let Kione rest against him, still holding her tightly, practically fearing to let go.
“Medicine, like real medicine or stuff they call medicine but it really makes you even sicker?” he asked, finding his voice again.
“Real medicine, I think. It’s supposed to keep my white blood cell count normal and the only thing they said it‘ll do to me is make me shiver. I haven’t taken it yet, so I don’t know if that’s true. But, the other medicine, I get that in a few days....”
“They’re going to pump poison into you?”
“They want to try that for a few weeks, see if it does anything.”
“The only thing it’s going to do is make you sick.”
“But maybe it’ll help me too.”
“Maybe. I hope it does.”
“I’m having an operation in November.” she blurted out quickly.
“An operation?”
“Yeah, it’s really good news though. It’s a bone marrow transplant and both Gohan and Goten matched mine, so, even if chemotherapy doesn’t work, this will, and I’ll be ok again.”
“Ok as in it’ll be like you were never even sick?”
“Yeah.”
“What if it doesn’t?” Hayama asked, regretting the question, and Kione shifted uncomfortably upon hearing it. She didn‘t want to answer. Partly because she didn‘t like the one she had been given and partly because it was too difficult to say, and avoided it.
“The doctors said it should.” Understanding, Hayama moved on.
“When is it?”
“The sixteenth. All I have to do is hold out till then and I’ll be fine.” Kione said confidently. Hayama nodded and rested his head against his friends.
“I‘m here for you. Always know that.” he answered.
“Thanks.” she replied, her cheeks beginning to glow a light rosy red from Hayama‘s affectionate touch. She didn’t look up to smile at him and it was a relief for Hayama as his cheeks were also flushed a tint of red. But because neither noticed the other’s reaction, they stayed the way they were and for some time, the two remained by the tree, sitting with one another, bringing up and laughing at things that had happened in the past.
Later on, after the two had parted and the sun had begun it’s journey into the night sky, Kione returned home only to be sent to bed immediately after dinner. If she was going back to school tomorrow, ChiChi had said, she was going to need to get plenty of rest. There was no arguing there and Kione had been wanting to curl up under her covers for a while. Being sent to bed early was like a dream come true.
“Kione.” ChiChi said as her daughter headed towards her room.
“Hm?”
“Honey, before you go to bed....remember to take your medicine.”
“Oh,” she answered blankly, almost forgetting about it, “right.”
“Do you need any help?”
“...Yeah, I’m not too confident about giving myself a needle just yet.” Kione replied quietly. ChiChi nodded and followed her daughter towards her room. Goten and Gokou, who were seated on a couch in the living room, looked over their shoulders and then sadly turned their heads as the two girls of the family disappeared through a doorway, closing the medium sized room out to the rest of the house.
Inside, Kione seated herself on the bed, lightly rubbing her arm. The doctors had said she was to receive two doses every day, however, neglected to say where the clear fluid was to be injected. Kione automatically thought her arm, remembering that being the only place she had ever be given a needle and rolled up her sleeve. The main cause of her jitters was being nervous about what this medicine was exactly going to do to her. “Shivers”, as the nurse explained, could mean anything from a slight shaking to intense convulsions. It was never made clear.
“Do you want me to do it or would you rather try yourself?” ChiChi asked, measuring out the precise amount.
“I’ll do it.” Kione answered. ChiChi handed the syringe to her daughter who shakily raised it to her arm.
“Why don’t you try your leg instead?”
“My leg?”
“Yes, it might make giving yourself the injection a little less nerve wrecking.”
“Will it still work?”
“Of course it’ll still work.” ChiChi answered with a smile.
“Where would it go?”
“Right about here.” she said, tracing a circle around the upper right side of Kione’s right thigh.
“Could you get me a pair of shorts out of my dresser?”
“Sure.” And she turned around, pulling out a pair of shorts covered in penguins. ChiChi went back to the drawer and began fishing out the matching shirt as Kione changed. She sat next to the little girl once they were found. “It’ll be ok, just relax. If you’re tense, so are your muscles.” ChiChi coaxed. Kione took a deep breath, relaxing as much as possible and wanting to get it over and done with, quickly pierced the syringe through her skin, wincing at that feeling only a needle can give, and injected the medicine.
She yanked the needle out and sat still, holding it tightly, almost bracing herself for the shivers that were expected. When nothing happened after two minutes, five minutes, seven minutes, both ChiChi and Kione looked at one another in relief.
“I’ll go throw this away and then I’ll be right back, ok?” Kione nodded and as the door shut, changed into her pajama shirt. ChiChi reached the kitchen quickly and tossed the used syringe into a special garbage the hospital had provided for them. Upon turning to leave a cry came from Kione’s room. ChiChi dashed out and over to her daughters room, reaching it before either Goten or Gokou. She rushed through the door and found Kione lying on the floor in ball, shaking violently. Gokou appeared at the doorway with Goten beside him, the two looking on not knowing how to help.
“I’m freezing.” Kione words came out shakily as they were interrupted by her shivers. Her breathing was the same.
“What’s wrong with her?” Goten asked. His sisters state wasn‘t making him feel any better and his heart was beginning to race.
“It’s the medicine. They said it would have some side effects. I guess these are the kind of shivers they meant.” ChiChi replied, holding her little girl, and rocking her gently.
“She’ll be ok then?”
“Yes.” Goten sighed in relief. What a wonderful answer. “You should probably get to bed, I don’t want you being late for school after the busy days we’ve had.” ChiChi added. Goten nodded and stepped into the room. Kione’s shivers had slowed and he kneeled next to her.
“Night, Kino.”
“Good night.” she answered with a smile. Goten returned one and stood. He left her room and headed towards his own. ChiChi helped Kione to her feet and over to the bed. Gokou joined his wife’s side.
“Are you all right, honey?” he asked.
“I think so. I was just caught off guard, I didn’t know that was going to happen.” Kione said. He nodded and ran a hand over her head.
“Get some rest now.” She nodded and he bent over and kissed her cheek. Her smile brightened the room. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Sleep tight, Kione.”
“Good night, Kaasan.” she replied, slipping under the covers. Her parents left, shutting the door behind them, and walked towards their own room. Gokou stopped at Goten’s and knocked. A reply to come in was given and he opened the door.
“Hey. Are you all right?” he asked after entering.
“I’m fine.” Goten said.
“And so is she.” Gokou added.
“I know.” his son answered, staring at the floor.
“Do you?” There was no reply. “I know you’re worried about her but remember, the way things are going now I think there’s a good chance she’ll be ok for more than a year. We just need to keep thinking like that.” Goten nodded. “I’m sorry this is so hard on you.” his father added.
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know.” Gokou replied, almost unbelievingly.
“Do you?” Goten asked quietly, looking up at him. A small smile formed on Gokou’s face and he pat the top of Goten’s head. He left without saying another word as there was no need to. They had had a conversation without their voices in those few seconds and both knew the only way to get through the next few weeks was to keep thinking positively. No matter what.
